When You Feel Lost, Ask Yourself These Six Questions

Darcie Brown
4 min readJul 15, 2020


Answers will come when you continue to seek.

We’ve all been there, confused about what’s next and even more confused about how to figure it out.

When we are in this place for some time, we start to feel frustrated in our “stuckness,” which only exacerbates the problem.

If this resonates with you right now, ask yourself these six questions to help bring clarity to your life.

Am I try to rush change?

Many of us want change to happen overnight, but usually change is a slow burn.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t seek answers, try new things, or consider what might be holding you back, but it does mean that change happens often in the balance between seeking and waiting.

Remembering this can bring some comfort, as it’s a reminder that you aren’t necessarily doing anything “wrong” simply because you don’t have an answer yet. You may just need to keep doing what you’ve been doing and be patient as the process unfolds.

Are you missing small changes that are leading to big change?

Big, noticeable change often comes from small change.

And small change can be easy to miss if you don’t attune to yourself.

Attuning to yourself means that you periodically reflect on where you started and where you are now. What thought patterns have shifted? What new insights do you have? What behavioral change have you made? What new ideas have arisen? What doors have opened or closed? What connections have formed or severed?

When you attune to yourself, you may realize that you have been taking action to bring about change. This awareness creates the space for you not only to celebrate your progress but also identify the tools and strategies you’ve been using to effect small change which likely can be applied moving forward to effect big change.

What beliefs do I have about my capabilities?

Sometimes, we hold self-defeating or self-sabotaging beliefs about what we are capable of.

For example, maybe you feel stuck in your job, but you hold a belief that you will never amount to anything. This belief may be getting in the way of your growth and progress.

If you feel stuck, consider identifying and exploring the beliefs you have about what you are capable of and then gently start to challenge them.

As you start to rewire the brain with new self-beliefs, you may find a newfound ease in moving forward.

Am I out of touch with my values?

Values are the things that matter to us.

And when we live in line with our values, we tend to be more content.

Feeling stuck is a signal to check in with your values. Are you out of touch with them? Have you outgrown them? Have you been living in line with someone else’s values, such as those of your family or friends? Do you need to reevaluate and align with new values?

Once you identify and tune in to what your values are, they will serve as your true north, guiding you and your decisions along the way.

Are there questions I’m afraid to ask?

Sometimes we are afraid to ask ourselves hard questions out of fear of what the answers might be.

For example, we may be feeling stuck in a relationship, but if we start to consider whether we should end the relationship or not, we may feel overwhelmed by fear and anxiety.

Because humans crave comfort, we tend to avoid asking ourselves the hard questions about what’s next in our lives and what that means about what we need to change right now.

Feeling stuck is often a sign that we are resisting the change that we are meant to do as humans. Change is often uncomfortable and requires a willingness to try something new without knowing how it will turn out.

Will a relationship in my life be impacted by change?

We may hold off on making a decision about our life if it will impact a relationship that we either care deeply about or hold a deep attachment to.

Even when we cognitively know that ending a relationship is “for the best,” we may resist actually ending the relationship out of fear of what that will mean in other areas of our lives.

But addressing those fears is necessary in order to move your life forward.

As you explore these questions, consider journaling about them to help you process your thoughts and feelings.

Along the way, remember to be patient with yourself. As you explore, it can help to see growth as a lifelong journey, as it takes the pressure off the need for immediate change.

And no matter what, keep seeking. Keep asking questions. Keep tuning into your wants and needs.

If you seek, in time, you will find.



Darcie Brown

Writer and Licensed Therapist. Making people feel less alone in their struggles and offering tools for change. To work with her, visit darciemft.com.